"CacheDetection.RequestID": "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN", Well, we know what they want. Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. A.async = !0; The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, 15. And probably increase.George Carlin, And heres something else, another problem you might have: Suppose your prayers arent answered. We have the war on crime, the war on cancer, the war on drugs. Hes just sayin that stuff. Good. If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both fucked. George Carlin, 32. Weve added years to life, not life to years. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. The people are fucked." George Carlin "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. Died: June 22, 2008 (aged 71) George Carlin Quotes . My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. All you had to do was suspend the logic and reasoning you were being taught in all the other classes. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Laugh often, long and loud. I think people should be allowed to do what they want. It is one that we need to function as a society. var gptAdSlots = gptAdSlots || []; In this blog post, well take a look at some of Carlins most famous quotes on government. You know what they ought to do with churches? They've long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. My mind doesnt work that way, I got this real moron thing I do, its called thinking and Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("grsession", "osid.b75ee1b4ab41ae6cecc3e4c769a5b3df"); 50 The Alchemist Quotes To Make You Follow Your Dreams, 195 Best Cobra Kai Quotes (Seasons 1 5), 70 Attack On Titan Quotes That Will Inspire Greatness, 37 The Lion King Quotes Filled With Powerful Life Lessons, Your email address will not be published. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. George Carlin, 73. They own you. Laugh until you gasp for breath.George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.George Carlin, Honesty may be the best policy, but its important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.George Carlin, People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I dont want to? Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. It will not be with jack-boots. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. g.parentNode.insertBefore(A, g) Its a great feeling. Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. George Carlin, 33. They own, and control the corporations. "Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music." - George Carlin 4. If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everybody else. Because you have the illusion of choice! George Carlin, 76. George Carlin Sayings and Quotes about life! We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. And in 2017,Rolling Stone magazine ranked Carlin second on its list of the 50 Best Stand-Up Comics of All Time, just behind Richard Pryor. Save the planet? And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops? It seems only right. the important thing is to, first of all, question everything you read or hear or see or are told. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. We can afford to cut defense; we cant afford to cut education. ' George Carlin, 56. George Carlin 13. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice., Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups., If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else., Political correctness cripples discourse, creates ugly language and is generally stupid., Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out., When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person., If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders., If you have selfish and ignorant citizens then you too will become a selfish and bad leader.. Because theres no money in that problem. You work forty years until youre young enough to enjoy your retirement. " George Carlin Quotes If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. Those who decide what news you will or will not hear are paid by, and tolerated purely at the whim of, those who hold economic power. Or, at the very least, it will be slanted to suit them, and then rarely followed up. George Carlin. Im sure it made the work seem that much more urgent. George Carlin, 27. He Was Fatally Beaten by Memphis Police Now People Around the World Are Sharing #SunsetsForTyre in His Honor, 41 Daughter Quotes That Will Touch and Melt Your Heart, 20 Most Inspiring Martin Luther King Jr. The people are fucked." George Carlin tags: funny , humanity , humor 8709 likes Like George Carlin was one of the most iconic comedians of all time and he had a lot to say about government. After all, he was one of the most successful comedians of all time! Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? its only a symbol. Thats the problem. George Carlin, 58. "Governments don't want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation." George Carlin Read more quotes from George Carlin Share this quote: Like Quote Recommend to friends Friends Who Liked This Quote var cookies = document.cookie.split('; '); !function(){function n(n,t){var r=i(n);return t&&(r=r("instance",t)),r}var r=[],c=0,i=function(t){return function(){var n=c++;return r.push([t,[].slice.call(arguments,0),n,{time:Date.now()}]),i(n)}};n._s=r,this.csa=n}(); return false; If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?George Carlin, I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. a[a9] = { It will not be with jack-boots. g = p.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; He loves you. A.src = t; The larger the group, the more toxic, the more of your beauty as an individual you have to surrender for the sake of group thought. We havent tried that for a while. I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. 50 Best John Mulaney Quotes For Every Comedy Fan, 13 Best Writing Tools for Inspired Authors, 30 Of The Best Dale Carnegie Quotes on Having a Great Life, 45+ Enlightening Quotes and Pieces of Advice, Inspirational & Spiritual Quotes From (365) Days of Tumblr, 40 Progressively Inspirational Sevenly.org Quotes, 45 Inspiring Quotations That Will Change The Way You Think #2, 5 Tips To Keep In Mind Before Hiring a Therapist Online, comedy about a singer who pretends to be a nun, friday funny motivational quotes for work, funny quotes about stupidity and ignorance, george carlin don t sweat the small stuff, george carlin on god the planet and the freak show, george carlin sayings that don t make sense, i dont want nobody fucking with me in these streets, positive funny inspirational quotes for work, quotes about getting screwed over at work. Carlin was known for his dark comedy and reflections on politics, religion, psychology, language and taboo subjects. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("resource", "author_22782"); session: { id: "334-5362882-2183381" }, Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize Im listening to it. Tell them what you've painted is wet, they have to touch it to believe. stylesheet.type = "text/css"; You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain. George Carlin, 70. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. George Carlin, 43. Trouble is, most of them suck. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. George Carlin, 31. throw new Error("could not load device-specific stylesheet : " + err.message); 383 talking about this. Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. Because he was a genius, and here are 11 quotes that prove it: 1. Here are some of our favorite George Carlin quotes on politics. George Carlin. Do share your thoughts with us in the comment section and tell us which one was your favoriteGeorge Carlin quotesor if you want to ask any questions or have any query send them viaContact Us. Goalcast is an inspiring community for achievers dedicated to helping you improve all aspects of your life. Enjoy! Keep in mind, the news media are not independent; they are a sort of bulletin board and public relations firm for the ruling class-the people who run things. The Catholic Church alone could wipe out the national debt if all you did was tax their real estate.George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. Be happy with what youve got, because the owners of this country dont want that. Whats that, a bonus? So, we must be clear about our expectations for government and its role in our lives. I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating and you finish off as an orgasm.George Carlin, Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.George Carlin, I do this real moron thing, and its called thinking. var cookie = cookies[i]; Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. George Carlin, 40. //]]>. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. If I can be of any help to you on your journey I'll do my best. The future will soon be a thing of the past. Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. " George Carlin Quotes "Most of the country was founded by slave owners so they could be free. }; They own you. Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. We cut education, in 50 years, well be so stack with idiots with shitty jobs that we wont have enough money to pay for defense! George Carlin, 85. George Denis Patrick Carlin was born on May 12, 1937, was an Americanstand-up comedian, actor, social critic, and author. You don't. You have no choice. People are wonderful. How is it possible to have a civil war?George Carlin, When I ask how old your toddler is, I dont need to hear 27 months. Hes two will do just fine. The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. He's the subject of a new documentary. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("signedin", "false"); Some people dream of things that never were, and ask, why not? Theyve long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the State houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. George Carlin, 63. The upper class: keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. George Carlin, 22. And a list of people they're going to visit at 3am. When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, 6. We all need to let loose and laugh at things once in a while and making other people laugh as well as think and find meaning behind your jokes is an exceptional talent George Carlin has. The game is rigged and nobody seems to notice. Source; . Period. 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Quotes, 60 Confidence Quotes to Help You Understand Your Self-Worth, Chris Evans Inspiring Quotes on Happiness, Success, and Being Laser Focused on Love, Strangers Spring Into Action to Save a Driver in Crisis on a Busy Road [VIDEO], 8-Year-Old Finds Out His Favorite Waffle House Waiter Is Hiding a Secret Doesnt Hesitate to Raise $64,000 for Him, White Woman Refuses to Listen to Dad After He Forbid Her From Marrying a Black Man 60 Years Later, Theyre Still Together, Kansas City Chiefs Fans Donate Over $300,000 to Buffalo Childrens Hospital After Dramatic Playoff Win Versus Rivals. You get kicked out when youre too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. The reason I talk to myself is that Im the only one whose answers I accept.George Carlin. A Death! (?) Forget the politicians. Government is an important institution. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. Did you ever stop to think about all the people we kill? }()); By the way, it's the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. George Carlin is a Grammy-winning American stand-up comedian, actor, and author. In America, anyone can become president. You dont. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("surface", "mw"); Here we are sharing a collection of George Carlin quotes on religion, government, and life for you to think deeply about the things you have never done before. The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.'. Electricity is really just organized lightning. George Carlin, 20. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. page: {requestId: "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN", meaningful: "interactive"} I hate groups of people. Vicious Quotes Page 5. . // page settings Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit. George Carlin, 21. A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. George Carlin, 16. A = p.createElement(s); This is the best we can do folks. Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. George Carlin, 24. He was an American standup comedian. setDisplayBids: function() {}, In this article, we present to you some of the famous George Carlin Quotes on Government, Marriage, Love, Life, Religion, Death, Voting, Freedom, Politics and More with their meaning. George Carlin Government Quotes "Religion is like a pair of shoes..Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes." George Carlin "Religion is just mind control. "I have certain rules I live by. They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but I'll tell you what they don't want: They don't want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Tom, Id like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy. These days, Trajedi. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, It turned out I was pretty good in science. gads.src = (useSSL ? Im not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech. George Carlin, 62. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. " Forget the politicians. Beneath George Carlins biting sarcasm and razor-sharp wit lay a heartfelt indignation at the injustices he observed in the world around him. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. But there is an I in independence, individuality, andintegrity. George Carlin, If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. This is the best we can do folks. It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control peoples language with strict codes and rigid rules. "https:" : "http:") + stylesheet.rel = "stylesheet"; Aparently we're not ready for that! It will be Nikesneakers and Smiley shirts. George Carlin, The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin, By and large, languageis a tool for concealing the truth. George Carlin, Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin, Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres theself-helpsection? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. George Carlin, If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. George Carlin, Atheism is a non-prophet organization. George Carlin, How is it possible to have a civil war? George Carlin, When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. George Carlin, I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. " Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying, lobbying, to get what they want. Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. I sincerely believe that if you think theres a solution, youre part of the problem. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. George Carlin, 9. Enjoy! Soon enough youll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, You show me a lazy prick whos lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and Ill show you a guy whos not causing any trouble. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, I have lots of ideas. 101 Marianne Williamson Quotes That Will Enlighten You. Its so f***ing heroic. George Carlin, The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. I hate groups of people. Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. try { The challenge is to find it.George Carlin, I put a dollar in a change machine. if (window.ue && window.ue.tag) { window.ue.tag('author:quotes:signed_out', ue.main_scope);window.ue.tag('author:quotes:signed_out:mobileWeb', ue.main_scope); } Showing 1-30 of 421 "The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept." George Carlin tags: humor , insanity , lies , lying , self-indulgence , truth 19588 likes Like "The planet is fine. } Cause pretty soon they have little hats. If you enjoyed the following article we humbly ask you to comment, and help us spread the word! Religion class was always an easy class. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.George Carlin, Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuckGeorge Carlin, I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. "ebfg_email", "ebfg_sms"]; Keep em showing up at those jobs. George Carlin, 81. What are your favorite George Carlin quotes? The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians.
george carlin quotes government