disadvantages of being a second wife in polygamy

Prevalence of mental health problems in women in polygamous versus monogamous marriages: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Not the wives of college friends, not old relatives who can't remember new names but who remember that they shelled out good money for a fancy gift the first time around, and especially not the original wife, who thinks of herself as the bona fide wife. How Is It Different From Marriage Counseling? In a home with more than one wife, what happens when problems arise? There was a higher prevalence of somatization, depression, anxiety, hostility, paranoid ideation, psychoticism, general symptom severity, positive symptoms total, and psychiatric disorder, as well as lower ratings of life and marital satisfaction, family functioning, and self-esteem among polygamous wives [ 12 ]. Both were a happy couple with 2 boys and 1 baby girl. But surprisingly enough, she understood and agreed to it. He enters willingly, eyes open, arms spread--he's the emotional version of a skydiver. Polygamous women though claimed that polygamy has disadvantages but to them, divorce is not an option. Sometimes the first wifeis forced to accept it because of her own limited circumstances, and sometimes she declares war or leaves her husband." Mrs. Abdullah also told though they have minor disputes among co-wives still they help each other. She almost lost her life I couldnt bear the thought of losing her. He kisses the back of Lillians hand as he talks. Mrs. Arslan did not avail of divorce and said it was her fate to share her husband with her co-wife for the future of her children. Mormon women fear eternal polygamy, study shows. You didnt grow up thinking; I cant wait until I meet a divorced man! The co-wives were approached from their homes. In many typical cultures like India, China, and Pakistan infanticide is a very common practice despite an illegal and social evil [5-7]. Confidentiality of the data was ensured to all the participants. I was so impressed., READ MORE:Celeste Ntuli and Ayanda Borotho on their roles as sister-wives in Isibaya. Rahmanian P, Munawar K, Mukhtar F, Choudhry FR. The 58-year-old and her husband, Thamsanqa*, 65, married when Lillian was 18. It doesnt mean that it wont last. As Mrs. Amir told the researcher, in the beginning, she got more privilege than the first but as time was passed and she did not conceive there was a time when she was completely ignored by in-laws and later from her husband. That tends to bring with it even more debt and insecurities. Illiteracy, being a wife of a husband with three and more other wives, current history of depression, intimate partner violence, and poor social support were significantly associated with suicidal . Thus, two things relating to marriage have affected the overall percentage of the population who find polygamy acceptable: more unmarried people in the population, and the fact that these. Evelyn*, 32, tells DRUM her mother's experience was awful. For 14 free days, you can have access to a world of in-depth analyses, investigative journalism, top opinions and a range of features. Lower risk that people get bored in a marriage. Instituting change for women in a male-dominated society is a daunting task; however, it is essential. Wed both been married before, but does that really matter? I knew society is very cruel and it would be very tough for me to bring up them without father." And more children too they are all so respectful and loving, a clear example of the home theyre being brought up in.. International Journal of Social Psychiatry. Social Change. All women were Muslims. 2005; 44(1): 81-98. The Advantages and Disadvantages of Polygamous Homes. In most cases the husband will go back to the wife and apologise after his elders have spoken to him. In the normal course of events theres no need for formal structures in polygamous relationships as the wives usually work most things out for themselves, he says. Mrs. Kamal due to the age factor she was very distressed at the time of her husbands' 2nd marriage but with time she accepted this relationship and had a good relation with 2nd wife and with her children. Three themes emerged from the study based on findings. My mother is a retired teacher and my dad could never keep a job, so she supported us. Some second wives may have unknowingly become #2 and had thought they were in monogamy, until the husband plucks up the courage to reveal they have . They know what they want and work hard they dont just take the mans words as the Bible.. One wife raises her fertility in response to an increase by the other wife because to them children are the best claim to resources controlled by the husband [22,23]. Second marriages are like that. Following subthemes were included in these main theme categories. Im in computer programming, which should tell you how much I love interacting with people, he says with a laugh. It is still bound to have some of the same relationship issues that we all face from time to time. In 1994, the Haryana Panchayati Raj Act disallowed people with more than two children from contesting local elections. It protects the families from contracting sexually transmitted diseases and possible deviation to an illegal sexual association [3]. She also never tried to snatch her husband from the previous co-wives as she said in her religion the Holy Book says A man can marry women of his choice two or three or four, but there must be justice and equality otherwise only one is enough". If that doesnt work then they go to the husband and present their cases, and the husbands role is to restore peace. Children can complicate matters further as each mother might feel the maternal pull to protect her own offspring more than the children of the other wives. And there remains a slight sense of imbalance. Im raising my son to be a responsible man who will not look down on women, like my father does, she says. These themes were generated from the co-wives experiences. But it's a hoax that has hit at least four countries to date . composed of two imperfect people. Divorce can be an expensive proposition. But the current qualitative study is an attempt to fill the gaps that are left unexposed by survey-based or quantitative research and particularly to explore the positive consequences of polygamy and coping strategies which the polygamous women used to deal with co-wives relationships other than causes and disadvantages of co-wives. Second theme: outcomes of polygamy as jealousy, unhappiness, and loneliness due to injustice, by the spouse were explored as potential pitfalls of polygamy. Yet there are many other cultures that support a mans choice to take more than one wife and believe it is something that can benefit the women as well. Thereafter you will be billed R75 per month. But that's not the case in Canada, says Imam Hamid Slimi of the Sayeda Khadija . But here I am, married to a man who was married before. Shes a nurse, not one of those rude ones, and she was kind and very helpful. It just means that being a second wife comes with a lot of challenges along the way. She told when her husband introduced her to the other co-wives, in the beginning, they both cursed me but later they made a compromise and accepted her. I realized, several years after I remarried, that one of my oldest friends never quite forgave me for getting on with life after my divorce. Did You Know Anxiety Can Enhance Our Relationships? Some children may not accept a new mother or father figure, so instilling values or upholding rules with them may prove difficult. A couple of years after her mother's death, Deschamps' father remarried in an LDS Temple and was sealed to his second wife. Another common stereotype that is associated with females is to give birth to only female children which increasing the ratio of female infanticide because some men are in favor of only male children. So why is the phrase second wife so unnerving? However, it is possible that a person is confronted with circumstances whereby he is unable to uphold his righteousness and purity, whilst maintaining relations with a sole lady, who happens to undergo periods of menstruation, pregnancy, delivery, suckling, and other forms of ailments, etc. A man and his second wife in Pakistan tell of their daily fear of being killed by assassins at the behest of their families. Then there is the hardship of making a living by yourself as a single person. These themes emerged in 3 main themes as Causes of polygamy, outcomes of polygamy, and coping strategies of polygamous women. His actions went against the traditional practice of asking for her permission and mediating until a solution is found, but legally he was within his rights. She does not have an apartment . Christianity condemns polygamy as an offence against the dignity of marriage, insisting that conjugal love between a man and wife must be mutual and unreserved, undivided and exclusive. It is still bound to have some of the same relationship issues that we all face from time to time. However, on appeal the. This prompted one Javed to petition the Supreme Court that since Muslim. As she had a new born she told when she was admitted to the hospital 1st wife of her husband prepared and brought food for her from the home. And reassure her of your love. They found his second wife together a woman who was a regular on one of his taxi routes. If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married. It was a love marriage. But Professor Maphalala says although each family has its own way of doing things, its usually the husband who decides how the children should be disciplined. Obviously, it doesnt mean your marriage will end, just that it is more likely to than the first. It was an arranged marriage. It means if your husband is a citizen or green card holder, he. I couldn't sleep properly, I was crying.'. Being Muslim doesn't change the biology of pain, of envy, and of sadnessthese are human emotions that are consequences of the act. "If it's mostly. All are located in new apartment buildings in good neighborhoods; their total value is about $5 million. 4. Consent i s the keyword. The women of polygamous families shared their lived experiences of polygamy. 2010;57(1): 121-127. The supervisor of the study verified the emerging themes and contents. Divorce can be an expensive proposition. For Aneesa Azeez, a 23-year-old Muslim convert and college graduate, her husband's . The study was an attempt to gain perspective about the causes of polygamy, its consequences, and the most important womens ways of coping strategies in polygamous marriages. She had only one daughter. Participant Mrs. Abdullah stated that in her pain after her 1st husband's death and later divorce from her previous husband due to barrenness when she met her third husband who dealt her effectively with her emotional pain. Khazuyeva also has two parking spaces in an apartment building on Moscow's Mosfilmovskaya Street. The study describes the different experiences, reasons behind polygamy, its outcomes, and the coping strategies used by first, second, and third wives. She said, there was a time when I thought no one in the world was in my favor except God". They must be educated through different seminars and programs to cope with the stress and manage other consequences of polygamy. Many qualitative and quantitative studies have been conducted to evaluate the challenges and issues facing polygamous women on an international level. Then there is the hardship of making a living by yourself as a single person. 2014. In the current study, co-wives reported several negative consequences of polygamy such as jealousy, lack of trust, unhappiness, loneliness, unequal financial division, and social privileges among the multiple wives those are consistent with previous studies conducted in UAE, Kuwait, Egypt, Jordan, the Gaza Strip, Arabs in Israel, Palestine, and Turkey which point out that the wives in polygamous marriages have reportedly more psychosocial, familial and economic problems compared to their counterparts from monogamous families [16-20]. They dream big. Jealousy: Jealousy is a common response to protect ones relationship [14]. It was hell for my mom and me afterwards, Evelyn says. In addition, the interpretive phenomenological analysis (IPA) was used to generate a wide range of perceptions and opinions that women carry out about their experiences in polygamous family structures. My wife and I were happy there was absolutely nothing wrong with our marriage. She stated out of sight, out of mind, She preferred the living arrangement. After the wedding they all moved into a bigger house with cottages at the back for the children. There are many stereotypes associated with being a second wife. The policymakers and law enforcement agencies should pass laws for the welfare of polygamous women. The study is not against polygamy but the need to improve the family structure of polygamous families is a major concern. As of early 1842, Brigham Young was a contented monogamist. Stanford University Press. So, I was second selection of my in-laws." He may be wounded and certain things may trigger an emotional response, such as . She told her a tragic story. Table 1: Frequency of co-wives for infertility, only female children, love marriage and family pressure as reasons of polygamous marriages (n=11). "Eva*, now 60 was married to my father for 28 years, and then one day he said he would like to add two more wives - they were twins," she recalls. The surprise is this: when the moment comes, the man jumps with alacrity. Six were first (senior) wives, four were second wives, and one was the 3rd wife in status. disadvantages of being a second wife islamirina emelyanova pasternak 26th February 2023 / in coastal carolina football camp 2022 / by / in coastal carolina football camp 2022 / by ASEAN Journal of Psychiatry peer review process verified at publons. At the very least, the term "second wife" has a very negative connotation. How Psychologically Conditioned Rats Are Defusing Landmines, The Innate Intelligence Observed in the Dying Process. She said that she and her husband was working in the same organization. Both babies were through cesarean. READ MORE:Customary law know your rights. Could be many factors, but since a person in the marriage has already gone through a divorce, the option seems available and not as scary. Though she faced a lot of criticism from the first wife. It can be challenging when you expect those normally happen times of the year to be a certain way, but then they arent so much. One Sunday morning Thamsanqa sat her down and asked her how shed feel if he took a second wife. Many first marriages start with two young, giddy people, unfettered by the realities of life. Exploring the mediation effects of anger rumination and willingness to forgive on the association between self-compassion and romantic jealousy. In the Muslim world, polygamy is acknowledged because it is supported and associated with religious doctrine as well as a fair and legal way of relationship. A Muslim convert says that being a second wife provides her. So she said I always support my husband for equal treatment with all wives because this life is much better than the previous one." I live in a rented flat and pay half the rent. Now she was not ready for 3rd. Further, they accepted co-wives as fate roles and made compromises rather than separation in most of the wives even they had kids. I will make another video using your. Its not a series of glittering evenings drinking martinis in smoky bars. READ MORE:After Criselda Dudumashe recently shared how her husband allegedly beat her up we thought we'd remind women how they can seek help. She told that My in-laws had not good relationships with the first wife of my husband. Gabe and I won't have that. Invest in the future today. Table 3: Frequency of co-wives for religion faith, admit the fate role, and compromise as coping strategies in polygamous marriages (N=11). I never expected to be a second wife. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She was living with her husband first 10 years of her marriage. If that doesnt help, she can then approach his elders and explain exactly what it is thats happening and how shed like them to help.

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